'Twenty questions' (or at least some of them)

I haven’t written a list in a while and given that I bored to an extent previously unknown to man, woman or sentient being, I shall fill my final forty-five minutes in the office ‘listing’.

What to list though…..

I am creating some lists at work at the moment actually, based upon the personalities of our team. Our team has just doubled in size and as the ‘Initiator for the creation of team joy, unity and a happy, inspirational work-place’ I have decided to create a booklet for new starters and trainees etc that will give them an alternative introduction to the team… beyond the usual age, extension number and work history crap you normally get.

I’ve basically presented the team with my favourite ‘twenty questions’ list that I like to bark at strangers who accost me in bars, in place of normal conversation.

Anyways, I suppose I could recount the list that staff members are currently filling in – not with their responses of course. That would be unusually indiscreet even for me. No. I could, for my own amusement, fill them in myself. This prospect equally bores me though. I know my answers already and could recount them in my sleep.

OR, in fact, I could list my already installed Eclectic Initiatives to Personalise the Office, Create Staff Unity and Harbour Laughter and a Lightness of Soul never before experienced in a corporate law department ….and develop more. THEN I am, whilst blogging, also working! No guilt here then.

Just let me turn on my ‘Non-chargeable’ clock… this is clearly ‘New product development’….

On second thoughts. So good are these inspired ideas, they would clearly be stolen by the raft of rival law-firm fee earners who daily visit the spaghetti junction that is my blog. I cannot let this be.

Additionally, Roll On Friday have recently been spying into the affairs of close Manchester colleagues of mine and I am aware of the insiduous gaze of the legal profession into areas you never expect them to intrude or discover.

Crapola.

OK, in no particular order:

Ideal three dinner party invites:
Bill Clinton, Johnny Depp, Alan Bennett

What other job would you most like to do:
Zoologist at the Virunga Mountain Research Facility

What did your school report typically say about you:
Natalie needs to put as much effort into her written work as she dos into her oral work

If you were a jungle animal what would you be?
A bonobo

Which literary creation do you most identify with/would most like to be like:

Scarlett O’Hara OF COURSE!!! – for COUNTLESS reasons. She was independent, headstrong, passionate, ground-breaking (for clarification here – she was a female from the deep south in 19 century who owned and ran her own businesses, created a cotton plantation, physically defended her own territory and negotiated with the enemy at a high level of authority to protect her own family – not of this was ‘acceptable’ for a mere woman at the time) authoritative and intelligent. ‘Tis a height sincerely to be aspired to.

If you could have one super power what would it be:

See Super power blog below.
That, or immortality.
Saying that - I recently came across a beautiful but fated idea somewhere recently that I can’t identify in my memory. Something is saying in Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman’s latest film that I recently went to see (In place of Johnny Depp!!!!! THATS how much I love Morgan's voice) but I’m sure it’s not that. Anyway, the idea was: Would people accept immortalty if offered? To prompt consideration, this story was told……A woman was offered a vial of liquid that would make her immortal. She decided she would accept immortality, but she only drank half - saving the rest for her future lover that she immediately embarked on a search to find. She realised immortality alone was no fun and so her key to beating the immortality Achilles’ heel was to find the person she could spend the rest of her life with and give them the potion. Unfortunately, so important did finding the right man become, that as time passed, it became more and more impossible to find the person worthy of the immortal liquid. After all, this would be the only person to could exist in eternity with. After the passing of centuries of disappointment and finding all men lacking to her ideal, she began to view all men as failures and resigned herself to a life of lonely immortality.
‘Tis the age-old vampire problem. Part of what adds to their romantic stature I guess. (Poor Lestat….)

What colour best represents you:

Yellow – loud, happy but sometimes overwhelming…..
‘Tis also the colour of the mighty leo Lion.

Would you rather have a face for a bum or a bum for a face:

Face for a bum. :)That cracks me up every time. Surely NO-ONE says ‘bum for a face', though’???

Lose a leg or lose an arm:

Leg definitely. You can cover up the leg and leg prosthetics are developed enough to mostly replace the natural leg function. Not so with an arm as the hand and fingers are so dextrous and complex and technology hasn’t advanced to replicate this yet.
(Also – you could get one of those legs the Olympic runner has that is made of sprung steel or something that means you can bounce along the road at high speed.)

If you could one one of the four major talents; Musical ability, Literary ability, Artistic ability
Mental ability, which would it be:

Musical ability. "I think music can express subtleties that neither literary nor visual artistic endeavours can."

If you could save one item from your burning house, what would it be?

My Victorian pearl and ruby lavaliere. That sounds odd as it is jewellery based and I am not a jewellery fan – not real ‘gems’ anyway. I find real gems gauche, for one – I am not someone who would be delighted by the presentation of a diamond necklace for example. Gems/modern jewellery are a minefield of ethical implications so it is best just to stay away – it’s not like I’m missing out on much either, a small bead of glass looks just like a diamond – why does it HAVE to be a diamond? It’s only social snobbery/vanity that distinguishes one from the other.

No. The reason why is 1. Because I do have objections to jewellry, being ‘second-hand’ it’s the few/one piece of ‘real’ jewellry I am happy to wear. 2. It was my Grandma's and is the only item of hers I have. 3. I have another sentimental attachment to it beyond it being my Grandma’s – my sister wore it for her wedding and I was soooo touched by this. I know I shouldn’t take it personally – lavalieres are beautiful (and no longer made really – it was the Victorians and Edwardians primarily who loved them and they went out of fashion with them. Lord knows why.) so of course she should want to wear it. It was a perfect fit with her dress too. But I was still chuffed knowing Caroline was walking down the aisle having chosen to wear, of all pieces of jewellery, my favourite. (it was of course her something borrowed and something old)

What would be the best aspect of being a member of the opposite sex?

Childhood games. Boys games are sooo much better than girls. Cowboys and Indians, tree-houses, camping, digging for treasure/insects. They are all also all more out-doorsey than girls. They have adventure at their heart too.

OK. The class-room bell has rung and I am free.

Disclaimer:
Any reference to time zones or physical location at the time of writing (“the Time”) is purely fictitious and should not be viewed as a genuine reflection of the writer’s actual status at the Time.